Indian in the Institution
Aditi understands race as more than a label. Their story is about recognizing themselves as part of the system and finding their identity in unexpected spaces of community.
Aditi's Story
“Stop Asian Hate” felt like it didn’t really apply to me. As an Indian American in 2020, I didn’t feel any hate from anyone. Sure, after the 9/11 attacks, South Asian people were definitely targeted because we kind of looked like Middle Eastern people, but in this moment of the COVID-19 pandemic, I was more of an ally. I could relate to some of the things East Asians were going through, but I wasn’t the target. I could be supportive to the greater Asian community, advocate for the cause, and empathize with what others experienced, but I didn’t really feel a part of the “Asian” when you say, “Stop Asian Hate.”
I scrolled on social media. Post after post, story after story showing solidarity, spreading news, sharing information… when I stumbled upon Indian history Instagram accounts. I knew glimpses of British exploitation and the Chinese Exclusion Act, but it was like learning a whole new history. I realized that this thing called racism had been so ingrained in our culture for centuries. I realized that laws, even those that have been repealed, have long-lasting effects that still exist today. I realized that things people said to me when I was a kid were not okay. Not speaking up, keeping my head down, and doing what society expects me to do…I was over it.
At the time, I also found a subreddit on Reddit.com called r/ABCDesis, American Born Confused Desis. Desi people would post about subtle racism they experienced, caste-based discrimination, religion, unconventional career paths… All these questions I had in my head were finally getting talked about. I wasn’t the only one out there floating in the middle of Indian and American culture. We had our third culture, and I felt right at home.
Between my personal reading on the internet and classes I took in college, I started to understand the ways racism has been institutionalized. That is, the ways that people don’t really realize racism happening. All this stuff going on with the pandemic and gun violence and police brutality—it’s all a part of it. Immigration laws, the healthcare system, houselessness were part of this big system. It is like a machine with lots of different parts but ultimately has one goal—maintain power for wealthy, white people and keep out everyone else.
I kept thinking, how can we transform this stuff? How can we get people what they need? It was so obvious to me that in figuring out myself and my place in the system, I needed to do something to fix a part of the machine.
Even though I have little power, I want to advocate for fixes that actually help people. To me, social justice is working with the community. It’s getting more people of color, including Indian Americans, in positions where they can use their tools to shift what’s happening. I’ve seen a lot of places where the machine is broken for Indian Americans and other immigrants alike. So even though I don’t always feel a part of “Asian,” I can still be a leader. I can still make a difference.
About Aditi
Aditi, a fourth-year public health major and Spanish minor, was born in Singapore to Indian parents. When Aditi was six, their parents moved them and their sister to the U.S. with hopes of a better educational system and opportunities for their kids.
While living in central Minnesota, the company that Aditi’s father worked for decided to stop sponsoring his visa. With the help of an old friend from India, Aditi’s father got a job in California, moving him there for six years. Though Aditi saw him a couple times a year, not having their dad around was unbearably difficult. The burden of being the head of the household fell to Aditi and their sister, and an unfettered childhood was long gone by the time they were 12.
When their sister went to college, it was just Aditi and their mom. They were under constant stress of not knowing if their family was going to be denied a visa, trying to do well in school, and making sure everyone else was okay.
As someone in the green card process, Aditi felt like their place in the U.S. was always tenuous. With their visa, they could study and work in the U.S., but their future always felt a little unknown, making their place in America feel unknown. When a stranger would ask “Where are you really from?”, Aditi lied and said that they were from America, that they grew up here, that they were born here. The truth was much more complicated, so they usually kept their personal story to themselves.
Aditi hung around a mostly white, queer, and neurodivergent group of friends. They often chuckled about the lack of Indian Americans in their life but connected to their Indian American culture through the food, speaking Tamil with their mom, and embracing the sense of community that comes with being Indian American. Through their experiences, Aditi realized that they do not need to conform to what others think of them. It was challenging to navigate the assumptions and binaries, but taking steps to find their place in the world brought them a belonging that no one, no system could take away.
Do not replicate text without permission. All images on this page were created by AI.