Survive or Thrive
Raj is a 21-year-old student who moved around a lot as a kid, from India to the U.S. to England. As a college student in the U.S., he grapples with his place as an international student and being treated like a perpetual guest and foreigner in America.
Raj's Story
My existence in this country is really only a business transaction. It’s sad, but true. I am here because I have promised to pay a certain amount of money to a university. And because of that, the government said, okay you can be here.
I am allowed to study and live in America, but I am not afforded the same respect and dignity as someone who is from here. I’ll give you an example.
During the COVID-19 pandemic, the government felt that they could just slap me around and force me to buy a $1,000 plane ticket home if I didn’t have an in-person class. Are you serious? It’s a pandemic, and you’re going to force me to choose between discontinuing my education or putting my personal health at risk? That’s stupid as hell.
This place only wanted me for my money, my diversity, and my brain power. It clearly didn’t care about me as a person very much. Sure, if that’s how the world is going to work, then I won’t care about this place very much either. If this place really cared about me, they would treat me like a human with empathy, instead of making rules that classify me as a threat. I’m just a guy trying to make peace with my place in the world, but America has explicitly told me that all in all, it isn’t here.
In college, my parents called me every week to remind me not to go to protests or get myself shot. Just keep my head down, try to be nice to everyone, and be cautious because anyone could turn on me. Society was just that fickle.
On top of that, Asians weren’t invincible. The attacks and violent words at the time made that very clear. Yet so many people thought that because some Asian people were doing well, racism didn’t exist or wasn’t “as bad” for us. Nahhh, this whole pandemic really burst the bubble on that one.
As an Indian guy, I was a bit removed from the direct Asian hate because everyone was just focused on China, but it didn’t mean I wasn’t impacted by all the other anti-immigrant and anti-China stuff. Heck, that’s why there were those restrictions on international students!
So, if I’m only here on business, then let’s keep it like that. If you want me as my whole self, then something needs to change.
About Raj
Raj is a fourth-year informatics student with an average build and confident demeanor. Though he was born in New Delhi, India, his dad’s job moved his family around the U.S. and England when he was little. Raj always needed to make friends and adapt to his new surroundings quickly. In middle school, Raj’s family moved back to India, where he was admired as the cool kid. His Americanness put him in the spotlight, and he relished it. He was the first pick at recess and had a knack for making others laugh, winning him favor with his peers and teachers. In India, he fit in with ease and eventually began to move, sound, and think more like a local Indian.
When Raj was 13, his dad’s job sent them to England again. In London, some kids were unkind. They made fun of him for his Indian accent. They laughed at his food and mocked the way he walked and dressed. To them, being and sounding Indian in the UK was absolutely wrong. They lacked an awareness of the world and had a hard time understanding and relating to people different from them, people like Raj. Despite their ignorance, Raj had to adapt. It was simply survival.
By the time Raj was applying to universities, British culture had become a large part of him. He moved and talked like a Brit, made jokes like a Brit. But as he rode the tube in uniform and politely made his way to school, a part of him felt left behind. A bit of his Indian culture had been lost somewhere on the backroad by his home.
Raj applied to several universities in England, France, and the U.S., but a university in Minnesota ultimately gave him the most generous offer. When he arrived in the U.S., questions about who he was swirled in his head again: Do I need to fit in? If so, how would I do that? If not, could I be myself and get away with it? Could I thrive?
Raj had already been through this journey once and survived. He was sure he could survive America.
In his first semester in Minnesota, Raj met Maya. She was well-read, well-traveled, and adorned herself with her signature golden earrings. She spoke in her blended accent and wore her headscarf with pride. She was stunning and confident. Like Raj, Maya was a third culture kid – born in India, raised in Morocco, and came to the U.S. for college. Maya also struggled with fitting in, and they often bonded over their experiences as foreigners in America. They took to their struggles differently. Around her white friends, Maya’s accent changed to match theirs. Raj leaned into his thick British accent and liked the way it made him stand out. While Maya was more ready to Americanize herself, Raj was focused on protecting and maintaining his individuality.
Over time, Raj realized that his core was Indian and British and everywhere he had been. He had absorbed pieces of each place throughout his life and that was fundamentally him. He didn’t need to look or sound American, though America was part of his story. He didn’t need to change himself anymore to be like the majority. He didn’t need to change his name or his accent or his quirks. To do so would be to give the majority power over him, at which point, he’d be trapped – a vessel for someone else’s thoughts.
“I am simply my own character,” he thought. “I can dictate what my character does and what he looks and talks and acts like. Regardless of where I am, I can dictate my choices, and how I decide to show up is my agency.”
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